i know hearing “i miss you” sounds like the
screeching of chalk against our better sensibilities,
that we both perceive the hollowness and futility,
that we belong to the proactive breed who note
the dead-end signs ahead of time and
find our own maps and
chart our own way out,
but we still say it.
i know that virtual kisses may
leave us emptier than before,
that we recognize their unfulfilled intent,
that deep down we feel that primal love
cannot be bridged across the distance, nor
substituted with references of prior times
or fantasies of the future, and yet
we still try to translate our lust, poorly,
into calls and thoughts.
i know we both realize our outstretched
plans are everything, but also mythical,
rich with our symbiotic differences
that could grow us into a love that
outlives our pasts of mismatch, and
like any great myth it may
simply be “too right” for us,
in the way that threatens the
bitter-sweet balance of fate, or
so we still like to think we do.
i know we know these things and
that in doing them,
we may well reduce ourselves to
a contradiction of realist personality.
i have no consolation for that,
but at least we’ve left no rock unturned
in the search for a future with us, and
maybe, however irrational and hopeful,
that’s par for the course of worthwhile love.
(or so we still believe what we tell ourselves)